You are beautiful. this is the truest statement in the world, I don’t know who you are, but I know it’s true. you may be a bully or the bullied. have scars upon your body or even just stretch marks. your eyes may be boring or hair a dull colour. Your lips may be small or teeth naturally yellow. You may not have the ‘perfect’ body or you may still hate your body even though it’s ‘perfect.’
My question to you is who told you this? Who had the audacity to tell such a beautiful creature this? Was it society? Or was it you?
You see people always want something to blame whether it be a person or a concept. At the moment everyone seems to blame society, social standards are too high, gender roles need to die, the workplace is unfair and racial discrimination is a scare. Society is instant gratification, society has poisoned people’s minds with social media and someone messed up the design of how we should behave. We’re now all robots without a brain.
Following a crowd without a doubt, like sheep running off a cliff and falling to their death all because one of them did it. We don’t want to help anymore we want to film it because Instagram followers are more important than a life, we’ve put machines over people. But it’s all societies fault, that’s the one to blame.
But let me ask you, who makes up society? Is it some abstract concept or some alien race? No, society is a common noun and it is a name given to a group of people living in an ordered community. You are society. You make these rules. Complaining about them isn’t going to change them. The only ones that can change society is society.
But unfortunately that’s going to take years as people refuse to accept the blame for themselves but also this societal narrative has been installed on us for so long that it’s going to take time to remove it – not that it’s impossible it just takes time.
The question is how can you help remove this societal narrative. The first thing is to stop judging everyone on the white patriarchal idea of what beauty is. Women should not be judging people and themselves on what men decided is beautiful. Coloured people, should not be judging themselves on what white men decided is beautiful. Beauty is in everyone and if we just stopped to look – really look – for just a second we could see the beauty that radiates out of people’s faces. I too find myself falling prey to these societal ideas of beauty, I find myself judging people on their single story of beauty and not seeing the beauty in their mind or the way they speak or how their eyes light up or the way they use their hands. Once you see one form of beauty in them, you will see all the forms of beauty – and it will radiate from them like the sun.
The second thing you can do is believe you are beautiful. Now I don’t mean you telling yourself every day in the mirror that you are beautiful. In order to be beautiful, you need to believe and know that you are beautiful. When this happens it will show. If I can put it like this, beauty is in every single one of you – you just need to unlock it by believing.
This doesn’t mean saying you have a beautiful face or focusing on your facial features/ outward appearance. It also doesn’t mean you just have to love and accept yourself all in one go. Like all things it takes time, so don’t just try to love yourself in one go – that’s impossible. Start with the little things, it can be anything: I love how I can blow bubbles with gum. I love how I’m really good at starting a conversation. I love my freckles. I love my interesting shaped toes as they are unique. I love how I can make duck sounds. It doesn’t have to be external but it can be but it’s important to find things in both.
You don’t have to start big but you can – do it the way it works for you. If this means writing it down so you can remember it then so be it if it means recording yourself saying it – do it. If it means screaming it out while standing on the top of a skyscraper – you do you. It has to work for you and you have to remember it – this part is important. It’s no good in thinking of something and then forgetting it the next day – you need to remember it because this will help you believe. But by slowly starting to love the small parts about yourself you begin to love yourself.
These little things are what make you you. If you love blowing bubbles with gum – that’s great keep doing because some people can’t, I certainly cannot. If you love how you can imitate farm animals, perfect because that is something that is unique to you. These unique little things are what make you special and what makes you beautiful. as soon as you begin to cherish them – your beauty will shine.
As soon as you believe that you are beautiful – you become beautiful.